Monday, February 10, 2020

Comment Wall

Here is the link to my portfolio.


  1. Hey James!

    First off, I must say I love the idea of the story collection (I am doing a storybook) and what a way to start the collection. This was by far my favorite story you have written as I commented on the previous version during our Greek unit week. There may have never been a fresher twist on a ancient legend as it keeps the same source story arc, but makes it more relatable to audiences and allows for a bit of fun rather than the typical quest style for ancient tales. I'm wondering what the theme for the entirety of the collection will be? If I may suggest, I think it would be a cool idea to retell a multitude of similar ancient Greek tales with fun twists on them to make them more modern. If not I can not wait to see what direction you with your site, great work so far!

  2. Hi James! I am going to use the TAG method to give feedback on your first story of your Portfolio. Tell...Personally, this scene from the original story is one of my favorites, but like you said, it was a bit short. Therefore, I love how you expanded on the story, and provided details that make the scene more vivid. I appreciate the story even more so now, because of your more detailed content. Ask...While reading the story, I wondered why you chose to keep the same names? Was there an importance to the original meanings that you wanted to keep those names? Give...Overall, I think your story is really great, that is why I am having a bit of trouble giving a suggestion. If I had to give a nitpicky suggestion, I would only suggest a word change. There is one sentence where you say "She became the most important think in his life..." I would only suggest that maybe you changed the word "thing" as it refers to the daughter to something stronger? Maybe the word could change to "part of?"

  3. Hey James,
    Wow is all I can say about your portfolio. I liked how it was short and simplistic. I feel that shortening a story to get the point across is a lot easier than writing something very long that drags out the narrative. I know I am guilty of that in this class because my stories do drag out over awhile. Your author’s note was very helpful in letting us know what story you were rewriting. I was able to visualize everything that was going on in this story and that made it much easier for me to visualize in my head, which is a good thing. Your story was definitely a funny one and I found myself chuckling a couple of times. I also love the layout of your portfolio; it is simple and easier to follow. I cannot wait to read more of your stories!

  4. Hi James, I enjoyed reading your story. I agree with you that expanding and adding more elements to the story made it much more interesting and fun to read. Your authors note was informative and explained what you changed and your direction of the story well. I liked that you made the fisherman as a lone man rather than married. I think it did make the birth of his daughter much more meaningful. I liked how you transformed the story and really made it your own which not an easy thing to do especially when given a small amount of information to go off on. I like the extra details you added to the story like the fish smell and everything. The only thing I would add is that there is no link to your comment wall anywhere in your portfolio, I would be nice for you to include it somewhere such so the reader can have easier access to it.

  5. James,

    Interesting take on this story! I thought it was very well-written and that it flowed smoothly throughout. I especially enjoyed how you literally started from the beginning - how the whole Indian Epic category even came to be - by introducing the story of the author of the Mahabharata himself. The only thing I might suggest is to further explain the love story that took place between Satyavati and Parashara. The rishi was only briefly talked about and then next thing I knew, they had a baby! I was like, "Okay that escalated quickly." On another note, the role you had Indra play here in the beginning was quite entertaining. I easily pictured him sitting in a cloud and playing with the little humans like they were his toys or something - definitely something a god would do. Haha! Great content here, James. I only wish you added another story to your porfolio!


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